Sex Education: When Should You Introduce the Birds & the Bees?

Welcome to sex education. My name is Mrs Squoodles and I’m your teacher for this lesson. Today we’re going to learn about where babies come from and why boys have willies. Any questions? No? Good, then let’s begin.

Talking Sex Education with Your Kids

I don’t know about you, but some of my classmates never learnt about sex from their parents. It was a taboo subject, not one that was ever mentioned. For some, the TV channel was changed when rude scenes came on and in order to find out what a condom was, they had to look up the meaning in the dictionary. It was left to the PE or health teachers at school, or well informed friends, to share why boys have penises and girls have vaginas. The diagrams of the sex organs were copied from the board and drawn in our books, we passed around a condom in class and had the teacher write all the slang words we had for sex all over the board. It was the only time swear words made it up there!

But that’s quite sad to think about now I’m an adult. It’s sad in the way that some parents felt unable to explain to their kids how their bodies worked. Yes, I understand it can be awkward explaining what Daddy did to Mummy to get you growing in Mummy’s tummy. But it’s life and it’s not something we should be to embarrassed or ashamed to explain to our kids about.

Keeping that in mind, when should we start the sex education with our kids? When they turn into a teenager, hit puberty or right from the moment they notice their body parts are different from Mummy’s. Well actually, it’s right from the time when our kids are little. I don’t mean tell your two year old what their vagina is for, but to keep your explanations age appropriate. Let’s look at what’s best for each age next.

Age Appropriate Sex Education Lessons

Here’s a quick introduction to approximate ages for teaching sex to your kids:

• 0-2 years – name the body parts and tell the difference between boys and girls.
• 2-4 years – understand what good touch and bad touch is. Explain about privacy and their body.
• 5-8 years – understand that it takes a girl and a boy to make a baby, and that the baby grows in the girl’s tummy. Introduction to puberty, changes that happen, what is masturbation and about privacy and nudity.
• 9-12 years – how sex works, safe sex practices, contraception, positive relationships and types of sexual relationships.
• 13 years up – teenagers are now hormone driven and unless you’ve talked about sex in the earlier years, they’re unlikely to want to talk about it now. But, good luck anyway!

I’d love to know how you first learnt about sex. Was it at school, from your parents or your friends? Let me know in the comments below.