How to Protect Your Sex Life from Your Kids

Your sex life has dropped or remains non-existent since you’ve had kids. Like I’ve said before, the lazy Saturday mornings are gone, and sex after kids seems darn near impossible. That got me to thinking: surely we as parents need to grab every opportunity to have sex when we can. But there’s one problem, and it’s a big one.

Kids.

The kids are always around. Your newborn may sleep in the same room as you. Your toddler climbs into bed with you when things are getting hot and heavy. Or maybe you’re unlucky enough to have your pre-schooler come in with you’re both ‘washing’ each other in the shower.

That leads to the question, how can you protect your sex life from your kids? I’ll walk you through a few scenarios…

It’s Your Sex Life: Protect It!

Okay, so telling your toddler to go to sleep in the afternoon cause Mummy and Daddy want to get busy in bed isn’t an option. Then how exactly is it possible to have a great sex life when your kids are at home? Here are three scenarios with suggestions on ways to protect your sex life:

• Your five-year-old walks in on you having sex (probably for the first time in five years)

Okay, you’re in bed having some adult fun and hear, “Mummy, I can’t sleep.” What do you do? Tell them you’re just having private time together and ask your child if they’re okay. Grab your pyjamas, tuck them back in bed and once they’re asleep, lock your door.

• Your newborn sleeps in the same room as you

You’re both feeling rather happy and in need of some adult fun. (Unless you’re completely shattered, in which case sleep sounds good right now). Is it okay to have sex with your baby in the room? Tough one, but I’ll be cautious and say no. Dr Michele Borba, a child development expert, says that if the baby is younger than six months old, it should be okay though.

• I’ve had a bad dream, can I sleep in your bed?

If you haven’t heard those words before, don’t worry because you soon will. What’s even worse is hearing them while you’re in the heat of passion. What you do is stop immediately, and wait until they fall asleep. You then get out of bed and find somewhere else to finish the deed. Moreover, lock the door.

What have we learnt from having kids? Firstly, lock your door. Secondly, keep your door locked! Protecting your sex life is about spending time with your partner without kids. Time to take a trip down to the hardware store I believe … no, not for bondage gear! For a door lock, silly.